Showing posts with label the body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the body. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Saving bodies








When I wake up in the morning I go to the bathroom, and I wash my face and hands.  I remove the mouth guard that protects my teeth from clenching during the night, and clean it with a special brush and put it away.  I go into the kitchen and fill a glass with water and have a good long drink.  I take a few minutes for my morning prayers, and then I get back to tending to needs of my body.  I heat water to cook oatmeal and for tea.  Then I go into the living room and roll out my yoga mat and stretch and breathe to loosen the stiffness and soreness of the night.  I turn off the oatmeal pot and cover it and go take a shower.  I wash my hair and shave.  I brush my hair and dress.  I eat my breakfast, brush my teeth, grab my wallet, my phone, and my keys, put on my shoes, and then I’m ready. 
I’m ready to go out into the world, to assume my public persona, to go to work, to be the person others know and expect me to be.   But in order to be him, I first have to care for my body.  I say “my body” because that’s the way we conventionally talk, but that makes it sound like this body is a thing that I own, like a hat or a car, as if there is a separate “I” who possesses it, when the truth of my experience is that I am my body.  And it’s also true that even something as undeniably my own as being this particular body is not left to me to negotiate in private; whether I want it to be or not, “my” body is public property.  Other people define and interpret my body. 
They evaluate me, according to cultural norms—by sex, age, height, and weight; by the color and texture of my skin, eyes, and hair; by the tenor of my voice and dexterity of my movements, by the functionality, or lack thereof, of my organs and limbs, and brain.  These are all keys for classifying me as this or that kind of person and for interpreting my behavior.  Am I beautiful or ugly?  Menacing or friendly?  Esteemed or shameful?  Am I normal and able and healthy and well, or am I somehow other, something less than these?  These are questions we don’t always get to answer for ourselves, and the answers that we get from others profoundly shape how we relate to ourselves.  They can turn our bodies into prisons, where, quite apart from any biological necessity, we are sentenced to humiliation, isolation, or even death.
The Gospel of Mark is mostly a series of Jesus’ encounters with aspects of human existence that we would rather not have to deal with.  In many cases these are stories of the suffering of a body, one possessed by a demon or afflicted with disease.  But these bodies don’t simply have a medical condition, because their physical or mental suffering is compounded, is multiplied, by social indifference, by prevailing attitudes of suspicion, disdain or fear.  Public interpretation devalues the suffering of these bodies and gives them scant comfort or remedy. 
Today’s Gospel story is about the healing of this kind of body.  It is really two stories, two healings, with the second sandwiched into the middle of the first, and by putting them together the Gospel writer makes them comment on each other.  In some ways the story about the little girl is the more dramatic—after all, Jesus raises her from the dead, but it the other encounter that is the meat in the sandwich.  The protagonist of this story is a woman whose body has betrayed her with an abnormal, continual menstrual flow.  Needless to say, this has made her unable to conceive and bear children, denying her a woman’s primary source of honor and value in the eyes of her society.
But more than that, the religious laws in the Book of Leviticus say that this bleeding makes her ritually impure—she is excluded from the worship of God in the temple.  Her impurity is considered contagious; you can catch it from contact with her body or her clothing or even a place where she has sat or lain down, and it takes time and special ceremonies to cleanse that impurity away.  She once had been a woman of means, because the story tells how she spent her money on painful and ineffective treatments from doctors until it was all gone.  By the time that she meets Jesus, she has suffered this condition, and the status of pariah that goes along with it, for twelve long and lonely years. 
Which are all the years that the young daughter of the leader of the synagogue has been alive, and the contrast between their stories is instructive.  When the little girl needs help it is her father who goes and falls at the feet of Jesus to plead with him to come.  And this is the way it is supposed to be done.  A woman in the ancient world was supposed to avoid interaction with men she didn’t know.  She kept to the company of women, and to the private sphere of her home, and it was the responsibility of her male relations, her father, brother, uncle, or husband, to  advocate for what she needed in the public realm.  But the woman with the bleeding has no one to plead her case.  So she has to take matters, quite literally, into her own hands. 
The initiative in the story is all hers, it is her faith that if she could just touch Jesus’ cloak, she could be healed.  And she does touch it, and at once she feels in her body that she has been made well.  Power passes from body to body, but it is not the contagion of impurity passing from her body to Jesus’, but a healing charge of spirit that flows from his to hers.  Jesus’ feels it, too, a touch different from all the other hands grasping at him in the crowd.  He stops, demanding to know who it was who touched him in that way.  And though she falls before him trembling with fear, he tells her she is no longer alone, no longer without a patron, that now she has an advocate and protector, for he calls her “Daughter”, and says her faith has made her well.  
The word that means “made well” can also be translated “saved”, and this is a story of what it means to be saved by Jesus.  It’s a salvation that has everything to do with faith, and that shouldn’t surprise us.  I’m sure we’ve all heard enough about being saved by grace through faith to know that’s what Christians are supposed to believe about salvation, even if we’re not sure exactly what it means.  But what might be less obvious or expected is that this is the salvation of bodies.  It is God’s presence in a human body, the body of Jesus, that the woman in the story puts her faith in.  In faith she reaches out to touch that salvation, and it comes with the healing of her body.
But it goes further than that; it is the salvation of her whole person, of a body that is not only inner  and private experience but also public belonging.  Jesus’ salvation replaces the old, oppressive and divisive cultural codes with a new and universal language of identity, so that everyone who has faith in him is a new person in a new society, a daughter or a son in the family of God, a citizen of the Kingdom of God.  This salvation is what St. Paul writes about in the Letter to the Galatians, of baptism into Christ that makes us one--“no longer Jew or Greek, no longer slave or free, no longer male or female.” 
This week a scant majority of the United States Supreme Court, added that we are also no longer straight and gay.  Old cultural norms that privilege certain kinds of bodies and denigrate others continue to fall away before the gospel’s universal affirmation of human freedom, responsibility, and love.  This is a vision of the salvation, not only of persons, but of the world.  In the church we have a name for this world, this community in which every body has a unique but equally valuable place.  We call it a body—the Body of Christ.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The whole truth


2 Samuel 1:1, 17-27
Psalm 130
2 Corinthians 8:7-15
Mark 5:21-43


My body conforms pretty closely to the ideal norm of our society: fair-skinned and blue-eyed, male; above average height, on the lean side of average as far as weight is concerned; equipped with all the usual parts, and all of them is reasonably good working order; on the younger side of middle-age; heterosexual.  Much as I might wish to deny it, the fact that I, as a body, conform to this ideal type, makes my life easy.  In ways that I’m not even conscious of, and usually take for granted, my body grants me the social status of a complete person, someone who is entitled to participate, to have a voice, to be taken account of and respected. 
So it sounds almost ludicrous for me to say that even I have moments when I feel that my body has let me down.  An untimely and overly productive sneeze, a cut from my razor that won’t stop bleeding, the effects of illness, injury, or exhaustion, an uncontrolled outburst of anger or grief—there are so many ways that my body can suddenly turn vulnerable, so many ways that the untidiness and unpredictability of being a body can trip me up.  More than anything else in my life it is my body that puts me at risk of feeling like less than a complete person, like an “other”, like someone who doesn’t count and who doesn’t belong.
What I have no experience of at all is being in a body that makes me vulnerable in this way all the time.  I don’t know what it’s like to have “otherness” stamped on my physical body so that I am continually on the outside, always at risk of being ostracized and ashamed, never fully belonging.  But this is a common human experience.  How many of us struggle every day with the body that we have been given, or the body we have become, because it feels like an obstacle to living as the person we know ourselves truly to be?  

The gospel lesson today talks about just such a person, a woman whose body bleeds endlessly.  For twelve years she has endured this hemorrhage, which according to the law code of Leviticus, makes her ritually and socially impure.  For twelve years her body has been an object of disgust and a source of contamination for others.  She has squandered everything she has on doctors, on painful and humiliating treatments, in the hope that someone will be able to bring an end to this nightmare, and yet it has only gotten worse.  Still she hasn’t given up.  One hope remains—she has heard of a traveling man of God, one Jesus of Nazareth, who has the power of healing, and she goes looking for him.
Never mind that when she does find him, he is surrounded by a great crowd of other afflicted persons, each one clamoring for his attention.  Never mind that he is on an urgent errand of mercy on behalf of a rich and important man.  “If I could only touch just his clothes,” she says to herself, “I will be made well.”  She presses forward in the crowd, promiscuously touching other people with her unclean body, not asking permission, not waiting to be noticed, but taking matters quite literally into her own hands. 
What happens next illustrates the other side of the paradox of being in a body.  It is true that our bodies are what mark us off as different from others.  They are what leave us vulnerable to illness and old age, to stigma and violation, and to death.  And at the same time, it is only through our bodies that we can touch and be touched by others.  Our most profound experiences of belonging and connection—holding a newborn child, kissing a lover, eating, drinking, and laughing in the company of friends, stroking the hand of a dying parent, even those moments of solitary contemplation in which we connect with the depth of our own being—all are experiences of the body. 
In the gospel story Jesus doesn’t lay his hands upon the woman to heal her.  He doesn’t say a special prayer to his heavenly Father.  He doesn’t say or do anything.  Nothing happens that anyone else in the large, noisy, fast-moving crowd can see.  But she knows, by a feeling in her body, that the blood has stopped leaking out of her.  And he knows, by a feeling in his body, that healing power has gone out of him into an unknown stranger.  It is his body that heals her, of itself, body speaking to body, through the power of her faith and his wholeness. 
It is an experience that stops him in his tracks and he demands to know her.  He calls her out of the anonymity of the crowd that was her means of approach and her hiding place, and there is no question of not responding.  She prostrates herself before him and she tells him the whole truth.  She tells him the truth of her affliction and her isolation, of the long years of suffering and shame.  She tells him of her body’s desire to be healed, and the hope and determination that led her to him.  She tells him of her journey of salvation from being the object of other people’s loathing to becoming the free subject of her own healing.  And Jesus confirms the truth that she has spoken and sends her on her way in the peace of God.

The whole truth of the body is hard for people to accept.  Those who need things precise and correct don’t know what to do with it.  Many religious people, both in 1st-century Palestine and in 21st-century America, approach the mysteries of the body—and the female body in particular—with a mixture of desire and fear and contempt.  That is why they are so obsessed with sexual morality, with maintaining clear and defined separation between the sexes, with keeping women’s bodies under the control of the patriarchal family, religious authority, and the state.   
And yet the Gospels tell again and again these stories of Jesus enjoying social and even bodily intimacy with women, and not just any women, but exactly those women whose bodies are most threatening--foreigners, adulterers, prostitutes, the woman with the hemorrhage, the dead daughter of Jaïrus.  It is as if in Jesus God were fiercely and playful embracing the paradox of embodiment, the whole truth of it, that what opens us to wounding is also what heals us, that what sets us apart from others is also what makes it possible for us to connect. 
This chapter of Mark, with its two intertwined stories of female bodies, echoes the story of Jesus’ own body.  In the bleeding woman, we can see the bleeding Christ, his abandonment, his humiliation, his scourging, but also his invincible desire for healing and peace.  In the events at the house of Jaïrus, we can hear the voice of the angel at the tomb on Easter morning, “Do not be amazed; you seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified.  He has risen, he is not here.”   
These echoes of passion and resurrection remind us that the salvation that comes through Christ is the salvation of our bodies.  It is the freedom to be our true selves, fully expressing the unique individual subjectivity that God has given to every one of us, which includes the characteristics of our bodies.  It is the courage to choose a life connected with others, willing to touch and be touched, with respect and compassion for all beings that share this embodied life with us.  It is the discipline of giving ourselves to acts of concrete solidarity with those whose bodies’ just demands are denied.   It is life in the promise that even death does not negate the hope of the body, but is like the planting of a seed that bears the abundant fruit of new and fuller life , glorified life, life that is, in some fashion that we cannot conceive of with our human limitations, life in a body.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Lazarus, Come Out!




When I was a teenager in Vermont there was a family down the road from us with three children roughly my age, and my brothers and I became good friends with all of them.  We shared their taste in books, movies, and music, and our families both had reputations in town for being not quite normal, them on account of being Jewish, and we--Californians.  And so on the weekends and after school one or more of us was usually to be found over at their old white two-story house by the crossroads of the village.  We loved their father, brilliant psychologist with a gray beard and a hearty laugh, but their mother was a mystery to us.  She often seemed overwhelmed by the presence of so many children in her house and would become silent and withdrawn, as if bearing a deep, unspoken grief. 
Over the next several years, her sadness turned into suicidal depression.  She made several unsuccessful attempts, so nobody was surprised when my mother got a phone call one night, the summer before my senior year in high school, telling us she had taken her own life.  She had been missing for several days when news came from a motel in a town 50 miles away.  She had checked in for a week, hung a Do Not Disturb hanger on the door, and swallowed a bottle of pills.  The motel manager found her when the housekeeper noticed the smell.  
The next day I stopped by the house on my way home from school to say hi.  The younger brother was there and we talked a little.  His father had taken him and his brother and sister along when he’d gone down to identify the body.   I must have looked surprised at this because he said, “I’m glad I went.  I needed to see her and say good-bye.  I had to know that she was really dead.”
My friend was describing an experience our society does its best to avoid.  The modern hospital and mortuary industries keep us insulated from a reality our ancestors all knew well—from the instant we exhale our final breath we begin to decay.   We leave it to others to tend to the dead, and this spares us having to see the bodies we love beginning the process of dissolution.  This may be a mercy, but it also may prevent us from reckoning wholeheartedly with the finality of death.  We rush the body off to the crematorium and we hurry our emotions along to positive thoughts about how “he’s in a better place now.”  We have to sneak off to grief counselors and support groups because the people around us do not hold a place for mourning.  We get a few days of “bereavement leave” and then we’re expected to move on and get back to work.
But the bible does not shy away from death.  The vision of Ezekiel begins with a great valley full of countless human bones, old and weathered and dry.  The gospel begins with the news of Lazarus’ death and Jesus’ resolve to go to Judea, in spite of the threat of assassination.  With these readings we are coming to the end of Lent, a season that began on Ash Wednesday with the remembrance of our own mortality, and climaxes on Good Friday, Christ’s own confrontation with the shadow of death that looms over all of us.  In the church we create a visible sign of his entry into this struggle by veiling the figure of Christ the King that hangs above the communion table.
John’s Gospel shows us two sides of Jesus as he approaches the final conflict.  On the one hand he is fully in control, knowing exactly what’s going on and what he’s supposed to do.  If it is God’s will that Lazarus should die so that Jesus can give us an unmistakable sign of his glory, so be it.  He will even play a little cat-and-mouse game with his disciples about it.  On the other hand, on his way to the tomb he meets the dead man’s grieving sisters, and he is stricken with the loss of his friend and Mary and Martha’s innocent faith in his power to save.  Jesus weeps. 
The raising of Lazarus is a sign that we too should believe that Jesus Christ is resurrection and life—the gift through whom the Spirit of God reverses the finality of death.  But Lazarus has been granted only a reprieve—he will die again.  Jesus has done something miraculous for him, bending time backward, if you will, so that the decaying corpse is once again the living, breathing man.  But this mighty work is only a sign, only a gesture in the direction of what God will do for Jesus, and through him for us, beginning in him the recreation of all things for a fullness of life that is eternal.  Through his resurrection Christ will transform death into a gate that leads us into oneness with the creative energies of God, with all that is and ever was and ever will be so that we are an integral part of the unfolding mystery of existence in God. 
But to do this he must pass through that gate himself.  He must come face to face with oblivion, and surrender his body to the powers of disintegration.  He must pour out his blood onto the earth, and give over his Spirit to God; he must go cold and be laid by those who love him in the darkness of the tomb.  He will do this because we must, because he weeps with our grief and suffers in our agony.   The image of Jesus that hangs above our altar is veiled, in preparation for his suffering and death.  It is a figure of the risen Christ who rules forever from the cross, the One who humbled himself in love and went obediently to death, for which God raised and exalted him as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  But we have obscured him, because we are not ready for that yet.  There is a journey we must make with him, the journey to the tomb, where women take him, weeping. 
And yet there is another image of the risen and glorified Christ over there, one that is never veiled, though we will see it soon stripped bare and desolate.  It is the table itself, the altar of Christ’s sacrifice, which is also the supper table where Jesus sat and broke bread with his disciples, including the one who would betray him.
 The church teaches that the risen Christ is also ascended, and so pervades all creation.  And yet we who have faith in his name, who gather weekly to praise his resurrection and to commune in his body and blood, are, in a privileged sense, his risen body.  We are a body animated by his spirit of love for all persons, even those who are unloved as a matter of general principle.  We are a body alive with hope for the healing and rejuvenation of the world, the breaking through of God’s peace into places of division and violence, the rolling down of God’s justice where there is exploitation and despair.  And we are also a body that has died with him, that is willing to surrender its material form to the processes of disintegration, to be scattered as grain upon the hillsides for the love of God and of our neighbor. 
By his grace we do this in hope, trusting in God’s word to us through him, a word that says “Come out!”  “Come out of the tomb!  Come out of nothingness, come out of futile striving after what is doomed to perish and decay!  Come out and be freed from Death’s bond, for I have recreated you, though you do not yet know it.  Death is not the final word.  Come out and see, for I will show you—I will go myself and lay down my life for you.  I will go into the tomb in your place, and I will set you free forever.”

About Me

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Petaluma, California, United States
I am a priest in the Episcopal Church, and have been (among other things) an organic farmer and gardener, and a Zen monk. I have a lifelong interest in social and spiritual renewal on the basis of contemplative discipline, creative nonviolence, and ecological practice. In recent years my work has focused intensely on the responsibility of pastoral ministry in the humanistic, evangelical, and catholic branch of Christianity known as Anglicanism. I'm married with a daughter, and have three brothers and two parents.