About Me

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Petaluma, California, United States
I am a priest in the Episcopal Church, and have been (among other things) an organic farmer and gardener, and a Zen monk. I have a lifelong interest in social and spiritual renewal on the basis of contemplative discipline, creative nonviolence, and ecological practice. In recent years my context has focused intensely on the responsibility of ordained ministry in the humanistic, evangelical, and catholic form of Christianity known as Anglicanism. I'm married with a daughter, and have three brothers and two parents.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I choose--be clean




When I was living at the Green Gulch Farm Zen Center in the early ‘90s there was a zen student named Dean who was dying of AIDS.  He rented a house down the road at Muir Beach but he would come up every day to practice in the meditation hall.  One day he asked if he could volunteer to work in the kitchen.  The woman who was the kitchen supervisor didn’t want to allow it.  “We all use knives,” she said—“What if he cuts himself?”  One of the residents who was a medical doctor met with to her and reassured her she could keep everyone safe from Dean.  She told her about sanitary procedures to follow if anyone cut themselves in the kitchen, and offered to do a training for the whole kitchen crew.  
But the problems that Dean’s request to work in the kitchen raised weren’t just practical, medical medical.  Ultimately, the supervisor was able to allow him to work there.  But getting to that point involved a real emotional struggle, because his disease stirred up fears that were out of proportion to the real risks involved.  Modern biological and medical science offers rational explanations for why people get sick, and straightforward mechanistic cures for disease.  But in spite of that, some illnesses arouse dread in us in ways that bleed far outside the simple straight lines of cause-and-effect.   
HIV/AIDS has lost some of the aura of menace that it had when the story I just told occurred.  So we can forget about the stigma of shame, the sense of moral guilt, and the fear of contagion that it used to bring along with it.   Some people said it was a divinely ordained, punishing scourge for sexual sin.  Some people said it was a government conspiracy, genetically-engineered from a monkey virus by the CIA.  The President of South Africa said it didn’t exist, and was a great hoax perpetrated by rich countries and multinational pharmaceutical corporations.  These are radically-different interpretations of the meaning of the same disease, but all of them show us that AIDS had a symbolic significance that went far beyond its description as a bio-medical phenomenon.  Looking into what people thought about AIDS, you could learn something about where they thought disorder and evil in the world comes from.   
The ancient Israelites had a highly developed sense of purity and pollution.  The first five books of the Hebrew bible, the Torah, lays out an elaborate code of dietary, ethical, and ritual laws.  These rules were, it was believed, given by God to his chosen people to preserve them from defilement and enable them to be holy as God is holy.  Among the things that cause pollution is any one of a number of skin diseases that our translations call “leprosy.”  The thirteenth chapter of Leviticus contains detailed instructions to the priests of Israel concerning how they are to diagnose a so-called “leper.”  The purpose of the diagnosis is not to effect a cure, but to protect others from the leper’s uncleanness.  One who is pronounced a leper is expelled, made to dwell in isolation, away from the rest of the people—not to prevent the spread of disease, but to protect the group from the pollution that the disease represents.    
This is important for our understanding of today’s story from the Gospel of Mark.  The trusting vulnerability of the leper, the compassion of Jesus—these things are affecting and easy to grasp. But our English translation glosses over something important that comes through more clearly in the Greek text— Jesus is not just merciful in this episode, he is also angry.  He doesn’t just “sternly warn” the man he has just cleansed, he harshly rebukes him.  He doesn’t “send him away,” he “casts him out.”   Our translation has Jesus telling him to go bring the prescribed offering to the priest “as a testimony to them,” but these words could as well be translated “as an accusation against them.”
It is significant that in this story the healing effect of Jesus’ touch is referred to repeatedly not in terms of the resolution of the man’s symptoms or the cure of disease.  Instead, Mark repeatedly uses forms of the word that means “to cleanse, to make clean.”   Jesus is not curing a skin disease.  He is casting out the impurity, the uncleanness, that comes along with it.  He is harshly rebuking social and religious isolation.  He is accusing the socially-constructed boundaries that put human beings in categories of impurity and pollution and keep them there, that cut them off from the wholeness that is God’s will for them.  
In this story Mark also sets another piece in place for the coming conflict with the religious authorities.  It tells us that the site of the struggle, the place of the confrontation, will be the body of Jesus.  Remember that in his compassion Jesus reaches out and touches the leper.  According to the purity code, this act makes Jesus himself unclean.  But there is nothing in the gospel to indicate that he gives that a second thought.  And in the chapters that follow he will transgress the boundaries of the purity code again and again.  He will be touched by a woman with a hemorrhage.  He will touch a corpse.  He will cross over into Gentile territory not once but twice.   But Jesus will not show the least concern about catching the contagion of impurity.  Instead, he will cross these boundaries to spread the spirit of holiness and health to the outcast, the excluded, the unclean.  His body will be the sign of the contagious kingdom of God’s loving compassion.
The other thing about this story, of course, is that it is about discipleship.  Mark doesn’t intend for us to sit on the sidelines, feeling smug because we don’t ostracize people with skin problems.  This story is a challenge to us to take a good look at our own social norms and ask ourselves who threatens our sense of purity.  Who are the people we think of as dirty?  How are we responding to them with compassion?  Do we will to pronounce them clean?  Last week our Buildings and Grounds Committee Chair mentioned to me that it is becoming clearer and clearer to him that our first priority for our Parish Hall refurbishing project has to be to provide an accessible entrance and bathroom.  I think he’s right.  There are legal and liability reasons for taking this on, but even more important is our call to break down barriers of exclusion.  When our hospitality extends only to those who can walk unaided, we are not offering the world a very effective witness to compassion of Christ. 
But this kind of compassion is relatively easy to extend.  Disability advocates, like advocates for people with HIV/AIDS, have made great progress in changing social norms and breaking down the boundaries of their exclusion.  But there are other boundaries that are more costly for us to reach across.  There is still a purity map in our society, and some people are trying to draw the lines thicker and darker.  Laws to drive homeless people out of our towns and cities, laws to isolate undocumented immigrants and expel them from our country, law-enforcement that criminalizes members of ethnic and religious minorities—these things are on the rise, and they are not driven by rational social policy but by the fear of impurity. 
As the body of Christ, we are called to confront that fear with compassion.  We are called to reach across the barriers of exclusion and touch the untouchable.  This may be the hardest work of Christian discipleship, because it involves personal risk.  It risks taking on ourselves the stigma of the unclean, of being seen by others as “not normal.”  But is the only path to knowing ourselves as completely whole.  Because as long as we believe that God’s love leaves some people out, there is always the possibility that we are among the unloved.  As long as we are afraid of being tainted, not by the intentions in our hearts, but by something external that we cannot control, we will not be free.  The mission of Jesus was to overcome that fear, to reach across the boundary of our sense of vulnerability, and to say to us, and to everyone—“I will.  Be clean.”    

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Outside religion




One of the things I hear a lot in my profession is some version of the statement: “I don’t come to church because I experience God in nature.”  And I’m not the only one who hears this--I was at an interfaith gathering of clergy recently, and one of the participants was talking about a prospective new member of her congregation, one of those most rare and highly prized of creatures, a young male who comes to church.  She told us that during a recent conversation with him he’d been explaining his resistance to getting more involved and used the “I find God in nature” line—in this case while scuba diving.  There was an outburst of groans and shaking of heads around the circle.  “How unique!” cried out another pastor sarcastically, “I’ve never heard that before.”
I knew how she felt, but I also wondered to myself if there might be some better way to respond.  Because the truth is, nature is a good place to find God.  Many of my own most profound experiences of holiness have come outside; outside the artificially-lit, socially-constructed human world.  Haven’t we all had our moments of awe at the beauty and intricacy of the wild creatures, the round of the seasons, the grandeur of the mountains, the sea, or the sky?  Haven’t they spoken to us of a greater wholeness, a majestic presence to which we are in some way related?  So why belittle those who testify to the power of such experiences to move them to reverence?  It seems to me that as religious men and women in a secular age we ought to be celebrating transcendence wherever it shows up in people’s lives.  In a time when the human race casts a long shadow over the future of the earth, we ought to be affirming the sacred meaning and value of our connection with nature.
And if we feel that such moments of solitary communion do not make for a complete religion, we ought to be able to do better than to just get grumpy.  We ought to be able to begin a conversation on the common ground of our own experiences of finding God outside. Maybe we could ask people to tell us what those moments have taught them and how they inform the way they live every day.  Maybe we could give an account of what we have learned from them, and how they fit into a larger pattern of religious faith and ethics and practice.  It may not always work, but it seems worth a try.
Because I have a hunch that even the most confirmed nature mystic has found from time to time that right at the heart of the experience of the magnificent sunset or the thundering waterfall is a uniquely sharp kind of loneliness.  In part it is the loneliness of realizing that there is no way to communicate the experience to others.  Any words you could say, or picture you could draw, or photograph you could take would be inadequate to convey what you perceived at that moment, even to a lover or an intimate friend.  And there is also the loneliness of realizing how out of accord our everyday lives are with the harmonious and sacred order of God’s creation.  We come back from that day-hike or that vacation in peaceful natural surroundings and find ourselves in the midst of noise, waste, haste, confusion, competition, and struggle.     
You don’t have to have an overly romantic and idealized view of nature, or an overly jaded view of human society to recognize that things are failing to connect up in some very important ways.  And that is one way of explaining what biblical religion is about.   Because the bible is very clear that the God who orders heaven and earth in beauty and harmony, and the God who acts in history to liberate, to redeem and restore humanity are the same God. 
That is what the passage we read from Isaiah today is arguing.  “Have you not known?” the prophet says, “Have you not heard?”  It is God “who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them like a tent to live in.”  It is God “who brings princes to naught, and makes the rulers of the earth as nothing.”  It is God who numbers the stars and calls them by name, and it is God who gives “power to the faint, and strengthens the powerless.” God is the creator and sustainer of humankind and does so along with, and through, the goodness of the natural order, which testifies to his wisdom and power.
If human society does not reflect the harmony of God’s creation, if the goods of the earth are not shared equally but are hoarded by some and denied to others, if carelessness and greed are making a world that is violent and ugly, toxic to life and menacing to the future, it can only be in the spirit of rebellion against God.  The harsh language of the bible that is so distasteful to our contemporary ears, and leads so many people to dismiss it as the work of weird fanatics, comes out of grief, horror, and anger at that rebellion and the destruction it has caused.  The bible does not let us rest easy about the consequences of a life out of harmony with God’s work and God’s will.  But it never despairs.  It never loses faith in God’s purpose for us, the purpose that was there at the beginning.  And it never loses hope that God is able, that God is active, that God is sending another spirit to heal the spirit of rebellion in our souls and recreate us, a spirit of truth, of wisdom, of holiness and peace.
The New Testament is the good news about that Spirit, as it breaks forth into the human world in the person of Jesus Christ.  We have been reading in the Gospel of Mark about the first day of his public ministry.   It was a Sabbath day, the day of the completion of creation, and he began it at the synagogue, teaching with authority and casting out an unclean spirit.  In the Jewish reckoning of time the day ends at sundown, and immediately when the Sabbath is over the residents of Capernaum go to work, bringing the sick and the demon-haunted to Jesus to be healed. 
We don’t learn when he finally goes to sleep, but he is up again in the darkness long before dawn.  He goes out alone to a deserted place, where we can imagine him standing and gazing up into the heavens and drinking in the immensity of the universe.  We can imagine him listening to the silent music of the stars and feeling his whole being vibrate with the same song.  We can imagine his heart uniting with them in joy and praise and love for the creator of all this wondrous beauty.  And in this moment he renews his will to go out and to preach to as many people as he possibly can that the same creator is coming now to act in their lives.   He knows himself again full of the Spirit of the one he loves as Father, and he steels his resolve to confront the spirit that condemns and excludes and dominates, that fears and hates, wherever it may be at work.
In Jesus we see that the solitary encounter with God in nature has the purpose of sending us back to the human community, to find God there.  That is where our real work is.  It is there that the language of religious tradition helps us make meaning of our private moments of religious experience (which are, after all, only moments).  Religious practice extends the influence of these experiences into the choices we make and the actions we take day after day after day.    The common ground of scripture, of liturgy, of applied ethics and mutual concern, gives us a starting point for community.  It gives us a place to stand together, and a place to hold each other accountable for what it is we claim to have learned about God when we went scuba diving, or backpacking, or made that spiritual retreat.  In place of a lonely epiphany that cannot be communicated, religion gives us the proclamation of the Gospel, the shared experience of God’s love for us all.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Enlightenment




The unanimous and consistent teaching of the universal church from early times is that baptism is enlightenment.  It is a mystical initiation.  It is a symbolic death and a spiritual rebirth into a new life of grace, of freedom, and of consecration to the mission of God in Christ.  
But it might be hard for us to believe that when we baptized 18-month old Karina Klein last Sunday the event meant that for her.  It’s always interesting to see how children behave at their baptism.  I don’t know if you noticed but Karina, who had been quite restless and vocal in the service up to that point became quiet and still.   It seemed like she knew something was happening.  But we are hard put to say that she experienced enlightenment.  But maybe that’s because we don’t understand what enlightenment is.
Last Sunday Karina may not have had a consciousness-altering experience, but it was the beginning of a relationship with Jesus.  We believe in the actual fact of that relationship because we were there on Jesus’ behalf to call her into it.   We take it seriously because we know that now, and for the foreseeable future, we will be responsible for fostering that relationship for her in the practices, the sacraments and the fellowship of the church.  Whatever sense she ends up making of that event, and whether or not she “saw the light,” depend on this— that we saw her in the light of our life together in Christ and the power of his grace to bring her life’s purpose to fulfillment.
Having an intellectual understanding of what her baptism means, or even the memory of some ecstatic moment, will be less important for Karina than the overall long-term of experience of being loved and included, of being seen by us as God’s beloved and invited by us to participate in the mysteries of our membership in Christ’s body.  She will learn what it means to bear the light of the world in her heart by seeing others receive the same baptism that Jesus did and that she did too.   She will learn what it means to bring that light to others by seeing the world from the vantage point of this place, by turning toward the world from this center.  For this is where she will learn that she is God’s beloved, receiving the body and blood that are the tokens of that love, and seeing her family and all the rest of us doing the same.
Often when I call on members of our parish who are sick and shut in, I am confronted with the limits of my capacity to help.   I can see the struggle and the suffering that people are experiencing and so often there is really nothing I can do about it.   But I am tempted to try.  I am tempted to try to be an amateur social worker, or nurse, or psychologist, and help them find a solution to their problems.  But what I always find is that these visits go better if I stick to the things that I know how to give—a listening ear, a prayer, a reading from the scriptures, Holy Communion.  
I’m not sent to tell them how to have faith or what to believe.  I’m not there to advise them about the practical matters of their situation.   What I’m sent for is to been seen by them in the light of Jesus Christ and his mission in the world.  Usually I don’t know what that means for them.  I don’t know their faith stories— what they learned from parents or Sunday school teachers or other pastors they have had; I don’t know what their spiritual experiences have been; or what religious commitments they may have made over the years.  I don’t know these things, but they’re not really my business.   I’m simply there as a reminder of baptismal grace.  Seeing me they remember Jesus.  And with that recollection comes the promise that the relationship that was begun at baptism is not forgotten.  He still loves them as  his own,  is still  committed to the relationship they’ve had, and their present suffering in fact only takes them deeper into the mystery of it.  I don’t have to say this in so many words—in fact it’s usually better if I don’t—my merely coming to visit communicates it.
 I usually end up seeing that people are capable of finding their own meaning even in the most difficult situation.    In the midst of darkness, they see a ray of light,   and it is a light that comes from Jesus.   From some stirring of love at his name, some presence of wisdom and peace in a word from his teachings or in an incident from his life, comes a  breath of hope, a gathering of strength, comes the faith that no matter  how frightening and overwhelming the present circumstances may be,  all is not lost.  And seeing that happen my own faith is strengthened, by own heart and mind are enlightened with baptismal grace.
I reflect on these two aspects of our life as a church, the baptism of the toddler and the visit with the shut-in, because, although they seem to be opposites, each of them illustrates what we mean by enlightenment.  It has something to do with seeing and being seen and the light that travels between us.  Another word for “enlightenment” is “epiphany” and we are in a season of the church year that takes Epiphany as its theme.  It is a word that means to see something that shines, to have a vision of something that radiates or reflects light.  And for the church that vision is of a human face. 
Following his own baptism, Jesus began to gather the first of his disciples, and the theme of seeing and being seen is a recurring motif in the stories of these encounters, especially in the Gospel of John.  In the passage we hear today Philip invites the skeptical Nathanael to come and see whether in fact anything good can come from Nazareth.   The exchange that follows preserves something of the extraordinary impact that meeting Jesus had on people’s lives.  That Nathanael was converted so suddenly and completely cannot be simply because he was impressed that Jesus could tell him where he was before they had met.   Something about the way he was seen and the way he was known enabled Nathanael to see Jesus for who he really was.
This story represents becoming a disciple of Jesus as a process of being seen and then seeing, of seeing a little but being promised more.  We may not know at the beginning exactly what we’re looking at.  We may never have some dramatic epiphany.   We may never experience ourselves as being enlightened.  But we are not the source of the light that is in us.   Our vision may be dim, but we are not lighting our own path.   However feeble our flicker, even the tiniest spark is still the one true light, the Epiphany light, the star that guided the wise men from the east and the brilliance more dazzling than the sun of the Transfigured face of Christ.  No matter how dim and narrow our vision may be, it is not our vision that guides us, but a reflection of the vision of God. 
And it does seem to be true that if we trust the little circle of light before our feet, it gets a little wider.   It does seem to be true that when we hold the light for others, we see a little further.   It does seem to be true that if we look for the light in others, what we see expands our vision of ourselves.   And it makes you wonder how far the light could really go.   It makes you wonder how vast the vision really is.  And I can’t speak for you, but that makes me want to follow someone who knows.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Name of names




When my wife became pregnant we decided that we wanted to wait until the baby was born to find out whether it was a boy or a girl.  So we had asked the ultrasound technician to keep whatever she could determine to herself.  For a variety of reasons, we decided to forgo amniocentesis completely.   Nevertheless, in the final weeks it seemed like everywhere we went we were accosted by practitioners of the science of determining the sex of a fetus by the shape of the woman carrying it.   They all seemed to agree it was a boy and they all insisted that they were never mistaken.  Whether for that reason or some other, we came to the onset of labor with a name all picked for the baby should it turn out to be a boy.  But our choice of girl’s names was still stuck at the final three.
As it turned out, within five minutes or so after our daughter was born, Meg and I both, independently of each other, decided on the same one of those three names as the right one.  “Risa”, like Lisa but with an “R”, was one that Meg had found in a book of baby names and put on our master list.   When we each agreed to select our top  ten, Meg had placed it on  her list, and when we met in conference to  compare and merge, “Risa” made it into  the  final round.  It means “laugh” or “laughter” in Latin, and also in Spanish, and somehow when we finally met our baby girl in person, we knew it was the name for her.  
Looking back, I wonder if some deeper wisdom had guided us to wait.  Maybe, by some intuition, we knew that we would have a girl and that we needed to see her before we gave her her name.  Because a name is important.  When we give a child a name we are giving her the cornerstone of their identity in the family and society.   We are giving her the currency to present  themselves to the world as a person, as a free and complete human being, with a unique history and personality, and  a destiny all her own.    To name a child is to say to him, “You exist, on a par with everyone else who has or who has ever had a name.”   It is to invest that child with a true and lasting significance.
If a name really carries with it this deeper kind of meaning, then it is something to be treated with respect.  And if that is true of your name and my name, it is the more true of the name of God.  In the Hebrew tradition, God’s name holds something of the power and mystery of Godself.   In the book of Numbers, Moses instructs the priests of Israel, to bless the people in with a repeated invocation of that name.  It is the same name that God revealed to Moses at the burning bush, the same name whose wrongful use is forbidden in the commandments of Mt.  Sinai.  Our Church translation preserves the custom of Jewish piety, when it uses a euphemism— “the LORD”.   Just as it is forbidden to depict the form of God in a created image, so it is not proper to speak God’s name.   
We’d be hard put to say that a similar kind of reverence has carried over onto the name of Jesus.  Generally speaking, the vernacular English I grew up with was one in which “Jesus Christ” in all its countless and creative variations served as a general purpose expletive for those occasions when you didn’t want to, or didn’t feel the  need to, use something really profane.   At the other end of the same stick is popular Christian culture with its mass-marketing the name of Jesus on bumper stickers and t-shirts and AM radio.
So what’s different about the way we’re talking about the name of Jesus here this morning?  By way of an answer, I’d begin by pointing out that when we sing, as we did this morning, of “the Name of names for us he bore,” we are not praising a particular combination of phonetic sounds.   We are not praising the name, but the person it communicates to us.  Jesus’ name is not a magic formula—it is not a switch, tapping into some current of supernatural force for our benefit.  Rather it is the person, the total consecration of his life to God and to others, that the name makes present.
That is why Luke’s story of the birth of the Messiah is not complete until the child has received his name.  The name Mary gives him is the one that God ordained for him through the angel.   It means “God saves.”   But it is also the name of a folk hero, of Joshua, the successor of Moses.   It is a common name, a traditional name that any Hebrew woman might have given her son.  The child may have been conceived by divine agency for a unique sacred purpose, but he is born into the traditions of a human family and a human culture.
Luke reminds us that, as it would have been for every male child of his time and place, the naming of Jesus is a cultural and ritual process.  It is linked to his initiation into the tribal identity of his people through the practice of circumcision.   The holy child of God, the Savior of all humankind, is also a child of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and bears in his body, as in his name, the indelible imprint of his cultural and religious heritage.  This paradox is not accidental—it represents in a nutshell the New Testament’s transformation of the Hebrew tradition, a transformation which began in the imagination of Jesus and continues to be available to the world in his name.     
In our modern bureaucratic society the legal and ceremonial act of naming has been reduced to signing a form and receiving an official Certificate of Live Birth from the civil authorities.  There is a kind of vision of universal humanity implied here.   But it is one that ultimately reduces individuals to anonymity—that’s why this act, like all the really important initiations of the modern state, also requires a number.  
Yet our collective memory still holds traces of a tradition of sacred naming.  Our word “christening,” as a synonym both for Baptism and for naming, recalls the time when we received our names—our “Christian” names—at our baptism.  According to this traditional worldview, the family continuity implied in the act of naming a child is of a piece with initiation into a new covenant people, made up of people of every tribe, family, language, and nation.  The same naming that confers the status of unique individual personhood, also initiates into the shared personhood of the mystical Body of Christ. 
To speak the name of Jesus is to repeat the act of a Jewish woman of the first century, naming her first-born son.  At one and the same moment it names our hope for the future, a new kind of humanity, known to us most vividly in the man that Mary’s son became.  St. Paul sums up that hope in a single word, “adoption”—one of his great metaphors for our transformation in grace.  To  be  adopted, of  course, is  to receive new parents and a new  family, maybe even a  new name,  and the whole purpose of the incarnation of Jesus, says Paul, is to reveal us to ourselves as children,  all of us, children together with him, in one family.  
And the sign of our entrance into that new family is that we will learn a new name.   Not only for ourselves, or for each other, but also for God.  In the  place of  the old name, the proper name,  the dread name that we must not speak, we will learn to call  God  by the name  that Jesus called him—Abba!  Daddy!  And in  that naming  we will  know  ourselves  as we  have never been known before, as  bearing a life and a name that is long in the giving.  It is prepared for us and yet withheld with the greatest of tenderness  and  care, until we are truly and  completely ready to claim what was  ours from the beginning, the name of Christ.