Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts

Sunday, April 16, 2017

What we see is glory




There is something anti-climactic about the story of Easter.  It’s not like the Passion Story that comes before it: now that’s a story, the kind that bears telling and re-telling.  And we did that; we told and re-told the story of the Passion of Jesus, beginning last Sunday with a dramatic reading taken straight from the Gospel of Matthew and then re-telling and re-enacting, in traditional ceremonies of the church (locally-adapted, of course), the journey from supper at sundown on Thursday, through the long night of watching and praying in the garden, through the three hours of horror and sorrow on Friday afternoon, to the peace of Saturday morning, and the silence of the tomb.  It is a tragic story, but like all great tragedies it is cathartic.  It lets us feel the way we really experience the world a lot of the time but rarely get to express in community.  So there’s a way in which the betrayal, and trial, and crucifixion, and burial of Jesus feels like an entirely satisfactory climax to his story.
And yet if it ended there, it would not be the great story, the sacred story of two thousand years of religion, and music, of painting and sculpture, of drama, film, and literature, of the folk art and ritual of cultures from South Africa to Siberia, and Fiji to Guatemala.   It would not be the story that turns ordinary men and women into saints.  Not because it would be a sad story—the world is full of sad stories, and many of them beautiful—but because it would be only another sad story among so many.  The whole story of Jesus only becomes what is because of Easter.  But what kind of story does it become?   Does it change from a sad story to happy one?  Or from a true story to a myth?
Mary Magdalene and the other Mary run away from the tomb of Jesus not with fear and not with great joy but with both mingled together.  And this combination of fear and joy is what accompanies an encounter with what the great rabbi and philosopher Abraham Heschel called “the sublime”: that which transcends and radically calls into question our normal categories of experience.  Which is why it is essentially irrelevant to ask, concerning the resurrection of Jesus—“did it really happen?”  That is the question of a humanistic age, and its import is, “is this something we can fit into our conventional human story of reality?”  When you put it like that, the answer is clearly “no.”  But if the answer is “no; the resurrection does not fit into the story we human beings prefer to tell about ourselves,” it is because it is the answer to a different kind of question.  The resurrection comes into a human story, the story of Jesus and his disciples, but it is not our question to ask about that story.  The resurrection is the essential question that story asks about us. 
The story of Jesus and his disciples is our story, because it raises the essential questions put to us by our own existence.  They are the questions asked of us by being alive and being human: by our experiences of joy and love and healing, of freedom and forgiveness, and belonging in community; and our experiences of fear and hate, affliction and loss, of conflict and oppression and despair, of missing the mark, and being at loose ends.  These experiences, and the way they all somehow come together as the one experience of being alive and being human, also come together as a single question; a question that is bigger than we are, that we cannot answer and don’t even really know exactly how to ask. 
Reading the Bible is one way, our way, of entertaining that question, of letting it live, and work on us, so that we are not simply drifting half-asleep down our passage through this world being satisfied with our own answers to our own superficial questions.  For Christians the story of Jesus and his disciples is the crystallization of the question that the Bible asks us.  And in the story of the resurrection we find our answer.  And the answer is “yes.”  “Yes.”  The resurrection is God’s “yes” to the question of what it means to be human, a “yes” we can give in answer because we believe it was first given to Jesus, and then to his disciples, by God.
Just for that reason, faith in Christ’s resurrection is not a mental exercise, not a matter of convincing oneself that “I believe it really happened.”  We can believe that, but just as it is the answer to the question posed to us by our whole lives, it is an answer we must give with our whole lives.  That is why St. Paul urges us, in the Letter to the Romans, to understand that when we were baptized we died and were buried with Christ.   Which can’t have “really happened,” because here we are, alive.  So Paul must not be speaking to our rational intellects, to the part of us that asks and answers our own questions.  Rather he is speaking to the heart of our consciousness, to that inner image we have of being “I”, a person, unique and entire unto myself, who is alive and has a life story. 
And what Paul is saying is that to be “in Christ,” to really know and really live in God’s grace and spiritual power, it is not enough to accept the certitude of doctrinal assertions about Jesus.  It is not even enough to obey him as the authoritative moral teacher, and to attempt to practice what he preached.   These things are valuable and even necessary, but in and of themselves they are not enough.  Because what it really means to be “in Christ” is to surrender everything we are to God.  All of it—even that deepest, most essential heart of our being, that very sense of being a person who owns the copyright on the story of “me.”  If we give that up to God, with the nakedness of faith we see in Jesus, praying in the garden, “not my will, Father, but yours be done”; if we say “yes” to God with the abandon of love that we see in Jesus on the cross, we will get it back.  
It will be very like what it was before.  We will be the person we always were, the same weak, gifted, happy, sad, simple, complicated, stupid, brilliant, virtuous, sinful person.  The same mere mortal—only completely new.  We will be raised with Christ.  United with Christ.  “It is not I who live,” says Paul in Galatians, “but Christ who lives in me.”  And in Colossians: “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is your life is revealed, then [who you really are] will be revealed with him in glory.” 
 
“The glory of the Father,” says our passage from Romans today, is what raised Christ Jesus from the dead.  Which is a curious way to put it.  Why the “glory”?  Why not the power, the mercy, the love, or the justice?   I think to understand what Paul is saying here we need to know that glory is not just one among many attributes that we assign to God by analogy to human characteristics.  The Glory of God is what belongs to God alone.  You could say Glory is God, because in so far as human beings can see God, Glory is what we see.  But what Christ’s death and resurrection renews in us is the knowledge that God does not keep his Glory to himself, but gives it away.   We may be looking upward at heaven, or outward at the earth, or inward at the uncreated image in ourselves, but if ours are the eyes of a heart that says “yes” to God, what we see is Glory. 
Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, arriving the tomb, experience it first as a kind of anticlimax, the emptying out of their expectations for how the story of Jesus will end.  But then, running away from the tomb with their strange new message, they meet the glory of God in person.   He greets them: “Hey!”—just the way one person would greet another on a bright spring morning on a garden path.  And they fall to their knees and prostrate themselves before him in the first-ever act of Christian worship.  But they also grab onto his feet, just to be sure.   

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Sometimes it takes a story




If someone were to ask you to explain yourself, to spell out what it is that makes you tick, or why you do the things you do, chances are you couldn’t do it.  You might fumble around for a while, trying to put into words the inner workings of your heart and mind, or to come up with nouns and adjectives that seem to describe your values and motivations.  But sooner or later what you’d probably do is tell a story.  Part of my job is to meet a lot of people, and to get to know them, and give them a chance to get to know me.  And while everyone is different, and the conversations we have as we are getting acquainted are all different, as people ask me questions about myself, to better understand where I’m coming from, I find that there are certain stories I tell over and over again. 
There’s the story of how I became a Zen monk and organic farmer, and my story of going from Zen monk to Episcopal Priest, and there’s the story of the rebirth of St. John’s, Petaluma, from the ashes of schism and how I came here to be the Rector.  I never tell these stories exactly the same way twice, and I never mind telling them again, because they are alive—they are stories that live in me, and I live in them.  And sometimes that’s what it takes to really come alive to the deeper truth about who we are, and the higher purpose for which we strive—sometimes it takes a story. 
So when some Pharisees and scribes were grumbling about Jesus, about the way he welcomed sinners and ate and drank with them, Jesus could have tried to explain to them in abstract terms about his own experience of the unconditional and gratuitous love of God.  He could have told them how he had come to give the last word about any idea or system of religion that seeks to put barriers around that love and control people’s access to it on the basis of human judgements about morality and justice.  He could have told them that he had come to identify himself completely with the people whom such conventional ideas and systems of religion had ruled out of bounds with respect to God, and to invite those people to feast with him at the inaugural dinner of a new creation, a world remade, where the only power is the grace of God, and love is the only law, where no one is excluded or estranged. 

I suppose that Jesus could have tried to explain himself in these terms, but no one would have had the foggiest idea what he was talking about.  You and I can talk this way because we have the advantage of being able to reflect on the whole arc of the gospel, and see the entire tapestry of Jesus’ words and actions that weave together to make it up.  Not only that, but the identity and mission of Jesus have had two thousand years to infiltrate and colonize our ideas about holiness and God.  Not that this process is complete, not by a long shot.  That is why we keep going back to the Gospel stories, day by day, week by week.  It’s why we keep placing ourselves imaginatively in the moments where people were seeing and hearing it all for the first time.  Because we know that the truth that Jesus was trying to get across in those moments, by saying and doing the things that he did, has yet to take full possession of us.

People sometimes complain that the teachings of Jesus and of Christianity in general are short on practical advice for the spiritual path.  There may be some lofty ethical principles to guide our behavior, in places like the Sermon on the Mount, but there is very little in the way of instruction on how to train oneself, and to surmount the psychological barriers to spiritual progress.  And I think that something like this is what got the goat of the scribes and Pharisees.  They were masters of the path, with a well-worked out system for what you had to do to get closer to God, and people respected them for it.  So it drove them crazy that Jesus didn’t show the slightest interest in being like them.  They could see that he was a person of extraordinary spiritual gifts, who could have been such an asset to their efforts to encourage and instruct the good and the faithful in the synagogues and in the temple.  He could have had the best and the brightest in the land as his disciples, and rallied up a real religious revival.  But instead he went around like a bum, squandering his talents on losers, on crazy people and prostitutes, on tax-collectors, lepers and Samaritans.
And when they grumble about it, he doesn’t have the decency to explain himself, but tells them another of his stupid stories.  It’s actually the third of three stories, the first two of which the lectionary left out, but they are all about losing something and finding it again, and a party to celebrate the finding.  So maybe Jesus really is explaining himself, and is simply on a mission of mercy to the outcasts and losers, to help them become upstanding citizens again.  Maybe his feasting with them is a celebration of their returning to the fold, and thanksgiving that one of the righteous men of Israel bothered to come looking for them.  This is a common enough interpretation.  It’s the sort of thing that has led generations of Christians to take up works of mercy to the marginal and poor, as if that were the preferred method to get right with God. 
    
Such charity often imagines that the lost will dutifully express their gratitude for being found, and show themselves deserving by cleaning up their act.  And at first it seems as if the story about the son who was lost and is found, meets these expectations.  After all, the younger son in the story is shame-faced, and is prepared be a hired hand on his old family farm.  But there’s a lingering question in our minds about repentant he really is, or whether he’s simply figured out that this what he needs to do to get his three square meals a day.  Because while most of us have been in the position of the younger son now and again, we can more readily identify with his older brother.  It's not that we’re mean, or unforgiving.  We wouldn’t demand that our brother be sent away to starve.  We just ask for a little respect for fair play, a little accountability, a little incentive for good behavior, and consequences for bad.

But it is the father in the story who sees the bigger picture, who understands what is really at stake, which is not a goat or a fatted calf, or which son is the favorite, or who stands to inherit the family farm—what is at stake is life and death.   “This son of mine was dead,” he says, “and is alive again!” And so the party begins.  Pondering this, we might say that Jesus went to the tax collectors and sinners, not because they were the people who needed the most help, but because they, unlike the upstanding scribes and Pharisees, were able to understand the deeper purpose of his mission.  Which was not to show screwed-up people how they could get back in favor with God, but to put to everyone the question—can the dead come back to life?
It’s a question only God can answer, but in the company of Jesus, the tax collectors and sinners find it possible to imagine that the answer to that question might be “yes.”  And that is the possibility that animates not just the story of the lost son, but the whole story of Jesus.  Because the gospel is about more than helping losers become winners again, or readjusting misfits to polite society.  It’s a story about one who goes looking for all that has been lost, from the foundation of the world.  To do that he must become the lost, the outcast, despised and forsaken.  He must go in search of us even to depths of the earth, to lie, the dead among the dead.  The story of Jesus is the story of one who lives, not for spiritual progress, or moral perfection, but for love for us, and for hope in what could come to him, and to us, in that place of absolute surrender.

About Me

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Petaluma, California, United States
I am a priest in the Episcopal Church, and have been (among other things) an organic farmer and gardener, and a Zen monk. I have a lifelong interest in social and spiritual renewal on the basis of contemplative discipline, creative nonviolence, and ecological practice. In recent years my work has focused intensely on the responsibility of pastoral ministry in the humanistic, evangelical, and catholic branch of Christianity known as Anglicanism. I'm married with a daughter, and have three brothers and two parents.