Monday, April 1, 2013

Changing expectations




The first time I went to St. Gregory of Nyssa Episcopal Church in San Francisco it was Easter morning.  I’d just moved into an apartment a few blocks from there, and, walking around my new neighborhood a few days before I’d come upon the Anchor Brewery.   And, right across the street, there was this extraordinary building, looking like a cross between a log church from Siberia and the Shogun’s castle in a Samurai movie.  A sign out front claimed that it was an Episcopal Church.  Which was my brand, so to speak, at least it had been for about a year-and-a-half, so I took note of the service times.  And because it was right before Easter, I decided to come the next Sunday.

I showed up a little before 10 o’clock on Easter morning to find the place strangely quiet.  There were empty parking spaces along both sides of the street, and the sidewalk the entire length of the block was completely deserted.   The doors of the church were closed, and the windows were dark.  But there was a small white paper sign taped to the entrance, and so I went up and I read, “Our Easter service was last night.  You are invited to join us for an Easter picnic at the Southwest corner of Jackson Park at 11 a.m.  Sorry for the inconvenience, and please come back again soon.”  I was a little exasperated as I scrambled to come up with Plan B, and I remembered that the service at Holy Innocents, the Episcopal church near my old house, was at 10:30.  So I rode off on my bicycle across the Mission District thinking to myself, “What kind of church doesn’t have worship on Easter morning?”

When Mary Magdalene and Joanna and the other women from Galilee set out with their spices at early dawn on the first day of the week, they went with certain expectations.  And they were reasonable.  It is reasonable to expect that, when you go to a Christian church on Easter morning, there will be people there worshipping, and in the same way, when you see a man publicly executed, and you see his lifeless body taken down from the scaffold where he had been hanged, and placed in a tomb, it is reasonable to expect that when you go back to that tomb, his body will still be there. 

One can imagine that they set out for the tomb that morning with a sense of dread.  Perhaps they were anticipating the pain of saying good-bye.  Maybe they were already starting to imagine the sight of their spiritual master, who had been more alive than anyone they’d ever known, lying lifeless and cold.  Maybe they were already weeping at the thought of the marks of torture on his beloved body, as the raw memory of shock and horror came flooding back.  But they went, hoping to do the only thing they could do for him anymore— to finish the job of embalming his corpse.  Now that his enemies had finished using him for their public spectacle, the women went to have just a few quiet moments to grieve together with his body, so that their last memory of him would be one of reverence, and tenderness, and peace.

That was all they were hoping for, but what they found when they got there was something else entirely.   There are really only a couple of things I want to say about this.  The first thing is that the writers of the Gospels, in this case, Luke, want us to take these women seriously.  Luke acknowledges that there will be skeptics—there were skeptics right away, starting with the male disciples of Jesus.  They came around pretty quickly, when Jesus himself came and ate and drank with them.  But the women were the first, and their vision at the empty tomb was enough to convince them.  Perhaps when Luke wrote this he was thinking of the skeptics in his own day, who no doubt tended to be men.  Does that remind you of anyone?

This, of course, is a continuation of a theme that you see throughout the gospels, but especially in Luke, about how the wisdom that Jesus teaches is hidden from the wise and understanding but revealed to babes—or women, or shepherds, or Samaritans, generally people whose opinions were discounted.  It is interesting that it is just at this point, at Jesus’ resurrection, that these women, who have been obscure, background figures up to now, suddenly emerge as main characters.  They even have names.  They were real people, Luke seems to be saying, and the story they told was true.

And I think this has implications for the way we think about Christ’s resurrection now.  It suggests that a lot of the arguments that have gone on over the past couple of centuries between male scholars and theologians about whether or not Jesus “really” rose from the dead have missed the essential point.  I think these arguments betray a lot of typically modern condescension toward the Gospel writers, and the characters they portray.  To hear some of them you would think that people in the 1st century had never had a warm, fuzzy, feeling about a dead friend—“You know, it was like I could almost feel his presence, almost like Jesus was really here”—and couldn’t tell difference between that, and what they were experiencing now.   There’s also an anachronistic materialism that sometimes creeps into those arguments, as if the disciples were saying “Wow—God reversed the auto-metabolic processes of organic decomposition in implausible contravention of the laws of nature!  Far out!”  

No, the essential point about the resurrection is that the people who were there knew it happened.   And if I were to paraphrase their proclamation for today, it would go something like this--“ I just woke up from the worst nightmare.  Just when I thought all the worst things I’d ever thought and heard about human beings had been proven right, and just when I thought that God had justifiably abandoned us to a never-ending downward spiral of greed, hate, and ignorance; and just when it been occurring to me that the bad guys will always win, and we might as well just give up on ever having a world where justice is really done and peace actually prevails, because people never will learn to love each other, and for all our promise we’ll never have anything to show for it because our hearts our just too cold and our eyes are just too blind, and our tongues are just too forked for anything good to last—just then, at that moment, when I was ready to stick a fork in it and call it done, something happened.  

Something happened that turned that whole picture completely around.  It was like the world I thought I lived in had suddenly turned inside out, and where all I had been able to see was cruelty, suddenly I saw compassion.  And where before all I could see was misery, suddenly I saw resilience.  And where there was treachery I saw forgiveness, and where there was sorrow I saw joy, and where before there was only death, suddenly I could see only life.  And there was one little phrase that summed up the whole transformation.   It was the truest thing I ever said, and as soon as I said it I knew that people will never stop saying it as long as the sun shines and the sky is blue—Christ is risen!”

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About Me

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Petaluma, California, United States
I am a priest in the Episcopal Church, and have been (among other things) an organic farmer and gardener, and a Zen monk. I have a lifelong interest in social and spiritual renewal on the basis of contemplative discipline, creative nonviolence, and ecological practice. In recent years my work has focused intensely on the responsibility of pastoral ministry in the humanistic, evangelical, and catholic branch of Christianity known as Anglicanism. I'm married with a daughter, and have three brothers and two parents.