Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Sunday, April 16, 2017

And on our children



The Liturgy of the Palms
The Liturgy of the Word

When I was a child, the place I went the most, besides home, school, and (possibly) church, was the county library.  It was an exceptionally fine one, as I came to appreciate later, and at least once a week in the summertime my mother would drop my brothers and I off for a couple of hours while she ran her errands and when she came back we’d check out shopping bags full of books to read until the next time.  I recall disappearing into the dark canyons between the stacks of the children’s section and volumes in series lined up on the shelves like veins of precious ore: The Hardy Boys, Encyclopedia Brown, the Childhoods of Great Americans.  And I also remember a spacious, open area with picture books lying flat on desk-like shelves, and two of them, in particular, that I was drawn back to look at again and again. 
One was called “Four Days,” and it was a photojournalistic compilation about the assassination of President Kennedy, his funeral and burial.  I don’t remember the title of the other, but it was a re-telling, with modern woodcut illustrations, of the story of the Passion of Jesus.  Looking back, it is not hard to understand what appealed to me so powerfully about those books.  It was partly a child’s fascination with violence and death, but it was also the drama, the unfolding of a series of tableaus, each with new characters, adding a new emotional dimension to the tragedy.  The death of the main figure was the center of the plot, but it was these other participants who gave each story its richness.  I can still clearly picture in my mind certain iconic images of those characters: the shocked young woman in the cabin of the Presidential jet, standing by in her blood-stained coat while her husband’s successor takes the oath of office; the Roman soldiers, rolling dice for Jesus’ clothing at the foot of the cross.
These are dramas in which everyone participated.  Entire generations can remember where they were when they heard that JFK had been shot—it was a trauma that affected the whole nation.  And the Passion Gospel makes the claim that the death of Jesus was like that, too.  So it’s no wonder that we read it in the form of a drama in which the whole congregation takes part.  Because it impacts all of us, and having seen and heard it, we can’t be in the world in the same way again.
Of all the Gospels, the one “according to Matthew,” makes this argument most forcefully.  I am thinking in particular of that moment in the story when Pontius Pilate makes a show of washing his hands and declaring himself innocent of Jesus’ blood.  Up to this point, Jesus’ actions in Jerusalem have been attended by various crowds.   He rode into the city astride a donkey and a great crowd spread garments and branches on the road, and went before him and behind.  And when he taught in the temple and told parables against the chief priests and the scribes, the crowds were there, listening intently.  When the priests and elders followed Judas out to arrest Jesus in the garden, a crowd came with them carrying swords and clubs, and again the next morning a crowd went along when they took him to accuse him before Pilate.  But it is never clear exactly who is in these crowds from one scene to the next, if it’s the same people or different.
But when Pilate washes his hands, the writer of Matthew makes a sudden and momentous change in terminology.  Instead of ochlos, meaning a crowd of indeterminate size and composition, he writes laos, from which comes our word “laity,” meaning the inhabitants of a city or a nation as a whole.  The result is one of the most infamous lines in the entire Bible: “Then the laos, the people as a whole, answered, ‘His blood be on us and on our children!’”  In time, authoritative teachers of the church would interpret this text to mean that in that moment the Jewish people willingly incurred perpetual guilt for Jesus’ crucifixion.  This, more than any other single New Testament passage, would fuel centuries of Christian hatred of Jews, and barbarous violence, oppression, and cruelty against them.
But to read these words as Christian anti-Jewish polemic is an anachronistic error.  In the time this Gospel was written, there was no “Christian religion” separate from Judaism.  If those people shouting at Pilate spoke for “the whole nation,” that, by definition, included the followers of Jesus.  Peter and the rest may not have been there, howling for his blood, but they had deserted him the night before, and surely felt some share in the guilt for what happened to him.   Not only that, but I think it is possible to find in these words resonances, with the Hebrew scriptures and within the Gospel of Matthew itself, that suggest some very different avenues of meaning. 
There can be no doubt that in the Passion story “blood” is a synonym for “guilt.”  That is certainly how Pilate uses it.   The passage about the death of Judas does the same, several times.   But we also have to consider the bigger picture.  We have to remember that the backdrop for this entire drama is the Passover, the great annual festival of remembrance of God’s liberation of the whole people of Israel from slavery.  And like so many other moments in the Passion gospel, this one may be a symbolic reference to the Passover story.  Chapter 12 of the Book of Exodus tells how, before the Passover night, Moses summoned “all the elders of Israel” and told them to have each family kill a lamb.  And he instructed them to put the blood of that lamb on the lintel and the doorposts of their homes, as a sign of protection from the angel of death, so that it would not enter to kill their first-born, as it would do to the Egyptians.  Moses goes on to say, “You shall observe this rite as an ordinance for you and for your children for ever.”
There may also be a reference here to the scene at Mt. Sinai, further on in the Exodus story, where God gave Moses the law.  After Moses came down from the mountain he sacrificed peace offerings of oxen to the Lord.  Then he read God’s covenant aloud to the people, and they said “All that the Lord has spoken we will do.”  And Moses took the blood of the sacrifices and threw it on the people, saying, “Behold the blood of the covenant which the Lord has made with you.”   It would seem like a stretch to relate this story with the Passion Gospel if Jesus himself hadn’t made the same connection himself, when he lay down with his disciples for the Passover meal.  He took a cup, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many...”  --and here Matthew adds something that is absent in the other accounts of this moment, in Mark, Luke, and Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians—“…for the forgiveness of sins.”
In older published versions of today’s dramatic reading, the line “his blood be upon us, and upon our children” was said by everyone, and I think this was an appropriate choice.  Because it is not simply the hideous slander it would later become; it’s the ironic key that unlocks the heart of the Passion Gospel for us.  When we do not try to falsely wash away our own part in shedding the blood of the innocent, our guilt for the violence, betrayal, and hypocrisy that stains our whole nation, and calls the survival of our children into question, we receive the sign of God’s protection, and deliverance from the power of death.  We are renewed in God’s covenant of forgiveness.
When we hear of the children gassed in Idlib, or blown apart in the mosque in Mosul, or dead of starvation in Somalia, we know they are not other people’s children.  They are our own.  They are also our own victims, if only for deserting them in their hour of need, and stopping short of doing everything in our power to spare them from the angel of death.  But when we take the blood of lamb upon us, we no longer ask “who is to blame for their deaths, and whom must we punish to avenge them?”  We ask “what would have to happen for all of us, who are implicated in their suffering, to acknowledge our guilt, and seek the forgiveness of those we have harmed?”  And, “what amends would have to make, for our victims and their families to be able to forgive us?”  And, “What could be my part in that drama?”           

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Guilty like me





A few weeks ago, the church Stewardship Committee drafted a cover letter for the forms we pass around every year at this time, so that people who wish to can go on record about how much they hope to give to the church in the coming year, in time, and talent, and money.  And every year, because this letter goes out in the name, not only of the Stewardship Committee, but also of the vestry (which board of directors), a draft goes to the vestry for review.  In the past, the vestry has typically given the letter a quick once-over, and said, in essence, “looks fine to us—where do we sign?”  But this year was different.   Maybe it was because the letter talked about making changes to the Stewardship program in order to deepen the conversation, but in any case, this year your vestry took a hard look at it.  They made editorial suggestions to clarify its message, but more than that they raised substantive concerns about its contents, and questioned some of its basic assumptions.
The vestry’s comments were mainly concentrated on those parts of the letter that talked about giving money to the church in proportion to one’s income, and in particular the traditional norm of the tithe, that is, of giving one-tenth of it.  Now tithing is a biblical standard, with a solid weight of church behind it, so I was a little surprised at first when the vestry called it into question.  After all, the Stewardship Committee’s language in the letter about these things had been simply carried forward from last year’s letter, and last year’s from the year before, and no one raised an eyebrow about it then.  But, of course, maybe that’s just because no one was paying attention.  
However, one of the things that I value most about this congregation is that its’ members do notice, sooner or later, when we are doing things that don’t sit exactly right with them, even things that are “traditional,” and they aren’t afraid to question them.  And the truth is, we haven’t really taken the time before now in the vestry, or even in the stewardship committee, let alone the wider congregation, to look at why and whether tithing really is an expectation we have of ourselves and one another.   So I took the discussion about it in the vestry meeting as a sign that the Stewardship Committee is on the right track in saying it is time for us to open this topic up for a deeper conversation, and as a promising start in that direction.
The most telling moment in the discussion, for me personally, came when someone said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “I don’t tithe, so how can I tell the congregation that this is something they should be doing?”  Which would have been the perfect opportunity for me to lead by example, and to take a stand for the traditional norm, by saying, “well, I do.”  Except the truth is that I don’t.  Most of the time I feel guilty about this, like it makes me, on one level, a fraud, who is shirking his ordination vow to “pattern your life and that of your household in accordance with the teachings of Christ, so that you may be a wholesome example to your people.”  Somehow, though, when that vestry member spoke out in such a forthright way, I felt relieved.  I was even thankful that I have, as yet, failed to meet the standard of the tithe, because if I hadn’t I would have been sorely tempted in that moment to say so.  And there would have no way to do that without putting others in their place.  As it was, I had no leg of moral superiority to stand on.
I do know people, even some in this congregation, who can speak quite movingly about how committing to the tithe has helped them to grow spiritually.  But none of them talks about their satisfaction in setting a good example for others.  Nor do they mention a feeling of relief at having rid themselves of the guilt of not tithing.  They are more likely to talk about discovering a freedom and joy in giving that makes them want to do more.  And when you think about it, there is something arbitrary about the tithe--if the idea is to honor God and acknowledge our dependence on God’s providential goodness, why stop at ten percent?  It’s a norm that comes from the Jewish law, and without negating it, Jesus sets quite a different standard.  You can find it in the 18th Chapter of the Gospel of Luke, a few verses after today’s reading: “One thing you still lack.  Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” 
There’s nothing in the Gospels to suggest that Jesus was against tithing, but teachings like the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector warn against thinking that tithing or not tithing makes a difference to God.  Jesus seems to assume that most of his audience don’t, or why else would the Pharisee imagine that his tithing sets him apart from other people?  Of course the tax collector thinks of himself as set apart also, for a different reason.  People despised tax collectors as treacherous and wicked because they collaborated with the pagan and idolatrous Roman overlords.  And for a person with a sensitive conscience that must have been a heavy burden to bear.  No doubt that is why this man is beating his breast and crying out “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”  But Jesus seems to think that this is an appropriate way of relating to God, not just for tax collectors, who were generally landless people, just doing what they had to do to survive, but for all of us—“Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.”    
We modern liberal Christians are wary of such lavish expressions of guilt and repentance, which we associate with an oppressive religion that is, thankfully, out of date.  And it is true that the church has used guilt to terrible effect, causing untold harm to countless persons.  But that is because its teaching has often implied, whether openly or not, that there are some people who are not guilty, saints or pastors or priests or popes who have made the grade with God and now stand in moral superiority over the rest of us. 
But if you look at the moral standards Jesus sets, they are so high that only God can meet them, and this has the effect of showing that we are all guilty.  Consequently, no one is in a position to condemn.  Any money we have is dirty money, as long as there are people who have none, and the tax-collector in the story is far more ready to admit this than the Pharisee.  Which makes him the kind of person God can work with, a potential member of the new, redeemed community that Christ is bringing to birth.
I think that Jesus has that community in mind when he comments at the end of his story--“for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted."  To me, this is not a description of a system of rewards and punishments, but of what it will realistically take to arrive at a community where there are no longer superiors and inferiors, but where we can all look each other in the eye.  And the allure of that community is enough to exert a draw even on a greedy, bewildered, and cowardly person like me. 
For that reason, I value the tithe as a personal guidepost.  Jesus’ advice to sell all I have and distribute to the poor seems impossibly remote from where I currently stand, sinner that I am.  But giving away ten percent is a goal that is, at least imaginably, within range.  It is close enough to exert a gravitational pull on my generosity, stretching me to give a little more every year, not only to the church, but to other organizations that also do the work of exalting the humble.  I say this as someone who lives in security and comfort, in no danger of going without the necessities of life, at least for now.  What Jesus reminds me is that this is not a condition that I, any more than the poorest person in the world, can claim to deserve.    

About Me

My photo
Petaluma, California, United States
I am a priest in the Episcopal Church, and have been (among other things) an organic farmer and gardener, and a Zen monk. I have a lifelong interest in social and spiritual renewal on the basis of contemplative discipline, creative nonviolence, and ecological practice. In recent years my work has focused intensely on the responsibility of pastoral ministry in the humanistic, evangelical, and catholic branch of Christianity known as Anglicanism. I'm married with a daughter, and have three brothers and two parents.