Showing posts with label Salvation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Salvation. Show all posts

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Instruments of death





One evening last week I looked in on my daughter’s room, and found her lying on her bed, watching a YouTube video on Meg’s tablet.  She’d finished her homework, and you might not be surprised to hear that, from her point of view, there was nothing wrong with what she was doing.  But obviously I saw it somewhat differently, because I went over to grab the device out of her hand.  She put up just the briefest moment’s worth of resistance before letting it go, and I took it out and put it in the living room.  Now to my mind, I was simply setting a limit, not meting out punishment, and I went back as if nothing unusual had happened and asked if she’d like to play a game, or maybe have me read a book aloud.  But she was upset with me, and, once the heat of the moment had passed I could understand why. 
Because, while grabbing away the iPad was hardly a blip on the scale of harm people do to each other, it was violent.  I didn’t ask; I didn’t explain; I just went and took it from her because I’m stronger than her and I could.  Of course I had my reasons, but violence always does.   And it is true that, as a father, I do have a responsibility for setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries around my child’s consumption of digital media.  Meg and I have standards around that stuff that are more restrictive than some parents we know, and less so than others.  Those standards have changed as our daughter has gotten older, and have become more complicated as internet-enabled devices have slowly but inexorably accumulated in our house.  Which explains how Risa and I had different interpretations of the rules the other night, and whether she was breaking them, or not.
But it doesn’t explain why my frustration boiled over the way it did.  Because it wasn’t really about her, and whether she was being disobedient.  As I thought about it later, tossing and turning at 3 and 4 o’clock in the morning, I could see that underneath my impatience and anger was a sense of helplessness.  It was a reaction to my feeling that digital information devices and the form of culture they represent and communicate, has become a power beyond my control.  It has invaded the most intimate spaces of my life: my home and my family relationships.  It has become a defining influence on my daughter’s development, imprinting the way she understands and interacts with the world, even to the point of shaping the physiology of her brain. 
And it feels like this is something I did not choose.  At the beginning of the sixth grade her school gave her an iPad and began requiring her to do most of her homework on it.  That same year her friends—and she has lots of those, who are very important to her—all started getting their own smart phones or internet-enabled mp3 players, on which they communicate outside of school by text message or video chat, and we knuckled under to the pressure and got her one, too.  And it’s not like her mother and I are Amish or something.  We have a land-line as an emergency backup and for the fax machine, but if it rings we know it’s a telemarketer, because no one we know has the number.  I myself would have to look it up on my mobile phone to tell you what it is. 
I access the internet from my laptop, or Meg’s infamous tablet, and I have to say, I find it a great convenience.  I like being able to instantaneously access the surf report, and the menu from Hector’s Pizza; or to renew my library books from the kitchen table.  I enjoy watching highlights on YouTube of the basketball game I heard parts of on the radio last night, and streaming my telenovelas (for Spanish-language learning purposes only, of course).  But on the nights when I look around my house at each one of us in a separate room, alone, on a different device, I don’t see entertainment and convenience.  I see erosion at the very foundations of what it means to be a society, and have a living culture.  I see death.    
It’s strange how the forces we harness and devices we employ to secure and enlarge our sphere of life become instruments of death.  The technological revolutions of the industrial age furnish no end of examples.  To take just one more, the automobile freed us from the crowded confines of the city, from the inconvenience of traveling on someone else’s schedule and rubbing elbows with strangers, only to exile us to sprawling cultural deserts devoid of common spaces, where nothing is within walking distance, or to trap us on freeways choked with traffic, pollution, and rage.  And now we come to find that the waste products of burning the fossil fuel that makes this way of life possible have so disrupted the world’s climate that we face the real prospect of extinction.
But this experience, of seeing what we intended for our benefit rebound to our destruction, is not limited to the sphere of technological “progress.”  This are just illustrations of what the Bible reveals as the universal tragedy of our existence.  The world is beautiful and good, and we were made to be sovereign in it, for our blessing and our joy; and yet somehow in taking hold of it and subjecting it to our control, it has twisted in our grasp.  The letters of St. Paul, and especially Romans, bear witness to a shattering realization: even the religious law, God’s gift to the Hebrew people, the seal of their covenant, the path of righteousness and peace to which Paul had zealously devoted his entire life, had become in human hands a hostile alien power of condemnation and of death.  
Death, in the sense that Paul speaks of it, is not the end or the opposite of life.  It is the shadow clinging close to every aspect of life itself, staining everything we create, all the good we do, all our best intentions and self-improvement projects, continually threatening to cancel them out, or turn them to unforeseen baneful consequences.  We were made for sharing the infinite life of God, and yet we continually try to grasp hold of and carve out a little piece of life to possess entirely on our own terms.  And to seek life that is not offered back to the giver of life, or to take power, without consecrating it to the source of all power, or to do work, even for the sake of the good, the true, or the beautiful, that is not conceived and carried out in the Spirit who is goodness, and truth, and beauty itself, is what Paul calls “setting one’s mind on the flesh.” 
And this fundamentally-flawed orientation to life, leads, sooner or later, into a trap—into being bound and gagged and imprisoned in the airless darkness of futility.  It is into the depths of this prison that Jesus cried, in a loud voice, “Come out!”  But before he did that, Jesus wept.  He wept for love of his friend Lazarus.  He wept with Mary and Martha, whom he also loved, and with the Judeans who had come down from Jerusalem to console them, some of whom were spies of the men who wanted him killed.  He wept with outrage and compassion at the whole sad, anguished mess that is human life under the tyranny of death.   And maybe he wept for himself, for he knew he would soon take Lazarus’ place in the tomb. 
Because calling one man back from the grave, even after four days, would not be enough to break death’s hold on the rest of us.   That was something Jesus could only do by meeting the powers of death head on.  Only he could reveal their sway over the world, at such cost to our hopes for wisdom and love, for justice, peace, and fulfillment.  It was up to him to pay that cost in full, in his own divine human person, and so to unmask the lies of the powers of death, and reveal their impotence.  But also to reveal, to the people who believed in him, the salvation that is coming into the world—a life so full of grace and truth that death cannot touch it, on either side of the grave.      
   

Sunday, December 25, 2016

The Genesis of Jesus



 
On the other side of this wall is a little room where the altar party puts on our vestments before worship, and where we keep our processional crosses and torches and other paraphernalia of the liturgy.  It’s also where we keep a book like this, called the Register of Church Services.  Each page in it is the same, a table of columns and rows in which we record the details of every service of worship that takes place under the auspices of St. John’s—when it happened, and where, and what kind of service it was, and how many people were there, and who were the leaders, and so on.  Now, there are more services going on around here than you might realize, but even so, it takes a number of years before a book like this gets completely filled in.  It was Wednesday in Holy Week, 2012 the last time we began a new one.
But I still have not put this, last book to rest in the file drawer in the church archives with the other old Registers of Church Services.  I’ve kept it out on a shelf in my office, right behind my desk.  During the first couple years of its retirement I used to look at it frequently, usually when I was planning for a special liturgical event, and needed to remind myself what we’d done last time, and how many people had attended.  Sometimes I took it down just to look at it for a little while, to see what stories it has to tell.  It had come along with this building when St. John’s Episcopal retook possession from the breakaway church in 2009, and its records go back a number of years before that, detailing the worshipping life of a parish very different from the one I know, and yet hauntingly the same. 
For the last year or so, I’ve not looked at this Register at all, but I’ve kept it on my bookshelf anyway.  I see now that I’d been keeping it out for today.   Because here is the record that notes that ten years ago yesterday, the 17th of December, 2006, was the Third Sunday of Advent, and that there were 23 in attendance at the Rite I Eucharist at 8 a.m. that day, and 140 at the 10 o’clock Rite II.  And here in the last column on the page, the one headed “Memoranda,” there is written this little note:
12 noon—Parish Mtng.  Vote to disassociate from The Episcopal Church and Diocese of Northern CA and change name to St. John’s Anglican Church!
Ten years is a long time—maybe long enough that after today I can finally put this book away in the archives.  A lot has changed.  I don’t know how many of the 163 people who were in church here that Sunday are gathered again this morning at St. John’s Anglican on the other side of town.  I do know that very, very few of them are here today.  Ten years has been long enough for the crisis to feel resolved, and the wounds almost healed.  It’s been long enough for new things to grow out of the ashes of the fire. 
On the other hand, ten years is not so long a time that we can’t still feel a little of the anger, and the fear, and the sense of betrayal that were in the air that morning.  Which is why I’m bringing it up today—not just because ten is a nice round number, but because this anniversary falls in Advent, when we remember how much we hope for God to come and be with us, to save us from our sins.
This is the hope that Matthew’s story of the birth of Jesus is all about.  The angel sums it up for us when it speaks to Joseph in his dream.  It tells him to name Mary’s child Yeshua, which in Aramaic means something like, “He will save,” because he will save his people from their sins.  Now, this line of scripture that might make some of us feel just a little bit squirmy.  The notion that Jesus came to “save us from our sins” has often been turned into shorthand for, if I might say so, a somewhat simplistic and aggressive form of Christian belief.  Which can make it hard for some of us to get any meaning out of it that actually sounds like good news.  But Matthew can help us with this, if we realize that for him these words are not some superficial slogan.  He is making them the centerpiece of the prologue to his gospel, so that we will read the whole rest of the story to find what “saving his people from their sins” really means.
By the time Matthew has finished his writing we will learn that it’s a story that is ongoing, and will be until the end of the age.  And it is also the continuation of the stories that came before, the ones about Israel’s God and Israel’s people that are recounted in the Hebrew Bible.  That’s why Matthew fills his gospel with quotations from scripture, so we see that the events he describes fulfill the ancient prophesies and promises.  It’s why he makes even the structure of his book to be a kind of reflection of the Torah, so that the genesis of Jesus is patterned on the beginning of that other, more ancient story. 
Like the Book of Genesis, the story of Jesus begins with a man and a woman, who are intended for one another.  And then there comes betrayal.  In Genesis the Serpent convinces the woman to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree, and to give some to her husband. In Matthew, it is found that Mary, who has yet to be joined to Joseph, has conceived a child.
In Genesis, when God finds his creatures hiding in fear and shame in the bushes of the garden, Adam points his finger at Eve and says, “She did it!”  And Joseph is tempted to do the same.  He would have been within his rights under the law to publicly disgrace his fiancĂ©e for dishonoring him in this way, or even to demand that she be stoned to death.  But, says the gospel, Joseph is a righteous man, and in this manner Matthew is already telling us that “righteousness” is going to have a particular meaning in the story that follows.  It is not the self-righteousness that is superior and judgmental toward others, but something more akin to forgiveness, understanding, and compassion.  Still, Joseph decides that his trust in Mary is broken (who can blame him?), and that it’s best for them to quietly go their separate ways, but just then the angel comes with news from God.
In his dream Joseph learns that Mary has not betrayed him at all, and that he can still trust her to love him and be his wife, and more than that, that all his pain and doubt has been for God’s extraordinary purpose.  At the same time, Joseph is left knowing that something mysterious happened to Mary that will always remain between her and God, and that her first-born son will never be exactly his.  He will always have to live with the knowledge that the neighbors can subtract from nine, and that some of them might see his marriage as not quite up to the highest standard.  He will always have to live with the memory of his painful feelings of betrayal, of jealousy, and rage; the memory of his struggle to master those feelings, and his resolve to break off his engagement.  But being saved from our sins is not the same as having them erased from memory, as if they never happened.  It means that they are prevented from destroying us.         
I cannot help but see the fact that today there are people worshipping from the Book of Common Prayer at two St. John’s churches in Petaluma, as a sin.  Which is not to say that no good has come of it, or that we cannot find in what happened ten years ago yesterday and all that followed, stories of courage, and kindness, healing, and hope, both on “our side” and on “theirs.”  All things considered, it might be better this way, at least for now.  One thing that I am sure of is that God did not allow this sin to destroy us, but has birthed miraculous new life out of the brokenness of anger, rejection, and betrayal.  I hope this is true for “them” as well as for “us,” and it would not surprise me a bit if it were.  Because that is what happens when Christ comes.      

About Me

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Petaluma, California, United States
I am a priest in the Episcopal Church, and have been (among other things) an organic farmer and gardener, and a Zen monk. I have a lifelong interest in social and spiritual renewal on the basis of contemplative discipline, creative nonviolence, and ecological practice. In recent years my work has focused intensely on the responsibility of pastoral ministry in the humanistic, evangelical, and catholic branch of Christianity known as Anglicanism. I'm married with a daughter, and have three brothers and two parents.